06 – Postscript

In his first moments back with Sara, Grissom discovers that sometimes endings are just beginnings in disguise.

Epilogue to the Metamorphosis series and a companion piece to “An Ordinary Day.” Follows “Stasis,” “The Rest is Silence,” “Guilt or Grief,” “The Readiness is All” and “Cake” and takes place post episode 910, “One to Go,” circa mid-December 2008.

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For my ever-faithful and infinitely patient readers: a promise and a threat, or perhaps a promising threat. Or is it a threatening promise?

Only time will tell.

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In all the years that you and I have been together, there have been many kisses: hello and good-bye kisses, see you later and happy to see you kisses, good night and good morning – or more often in our case, good afternoon and good evening kisses. There were long kisses and short kisses. First kisses and last kisses. The soft ones that were barely more than the brush of lips on lips and then those that literally stole your breath away. There were kisses full of laughter and even those full of tears. Kisses punctuated by sighs — and moans. Innocent and not so innocent kisses.

But this kiss I find is far different from any of those.

Maybe it’s because it has been so long, too long. Maybe it’s because for the longest time, I feared I would never share another kiss with you.

And perhaps it had to be different in order to say everything I so wanted to say, but simply don’t posses the words to convey.

What is certain, is that this kiss is one borne of love and hope and joy and longing; wanting and having and believing; of both tenderness and possession.

It isn’t a kiss to build a dream on, but a kiss to begin to build a life upon.

But most of all, it is a kiss like that first one we shared that day in your kitchen all those years ago — a kiss that carries with it a feeling I didn’t have a name for then, but do now — home.

And that spark of warmth that flickered into being when I finally chose to come, the one that had despite everything, begun to burn a little brighter over the succeeding days, now in finally seeing you again, feeling you again, has finally chased away the last of the chill I never could quite shake with you gone.

So I simply close my eyes and let myself disappear into the enveloping warmth of your arms.

For I cannot hold you tight enough, near enough. And you hold me just as close, in that way that only you have ever held me, in a way that seems to bring with it a narrowing of the distance that time and space, of all the things said and not said, done and not done, has placed between us.

When we finally break apart – after how long, I don’t know nor care, your damp eyes and bright smile greet me.

How is it, I wonder, that a single look from you is more telling than anything that can be spoken? For in that smile, I know.

I know you are glad that I have come. For there is warmth and welcome peering back at me.

Although I have to admit that when I first arrived, I wasn’t sure what lay in those wide eyes of yours.

Shock? Surprise?

Now it looks like you are trying desperately not to cry.

Oh, Sara, you are so beautiful, so breathtakingly beautiful.

Your almost honey-colored hair is shorter than I have ever seen it, but your curls are back. How I have missed those curls over the years. I am glad, too, to see that you have finally stopped trying to hide those freckles of yours, the ones that I have always harbored a not so secret fondness for.

And in that smile of yours, the one that crinkles at the edges of your eyes and lights up your entire face, all of the lines and shadows; that haunted look I’ve seen you wear for the last year, they all melt into memory.

I want to tell you all of this, I do. Tell you how beautiful you are. How much I love you. All the dreams and hopes I have. How much I want to share them all with you.

There is so much I want to tell you. Years – lifetimes – worth of words.

And you would think that after all this time, they would come easier – the words.

They don’t.

But then you have always been the only one to ever render me speechless.

So I surrender to the reality that for some times there are no words.

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They say that the path to true love never did run smooth.

But then I have never really believed in And they lived happily ever after. Not because I believe such happiness is an impossibility. For I know it is indeed possible. It is the reality of that possibility that I am feeling now.

But those sort of happy endings never seem to venture much further than the part where journeys end in lovers’ meeting. And I know there is so much left of the story — the real story — that remains to be told. For the story of my life is far from over, and in some ways, it is just beginning.

I don’t know what the future will hold, but here and now, I find for the first time in my life that I don’t need to know. All I need to know is I want to go there with you.

And that is a wonderful place to begin.

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A/N: Often, when I reach the end of a particularly long series, there comes with the flush and relief of completion, a sense of loss and finality. And in some ways, this series is no different. In fact, there were many times when I was desperate for the whole thing to finally be done. But like real life, stories have their own sense of timing. This time, though, I leave this series with the hope and promises of beginnings, of the things to come, for myself, as well as Grissom – and Sara, of course. For it seems that this season has been one of changes and choices, beginnings and becomings for both myself and them.

What this means to those of you who have taken this oftentimes long journey with me and so generously shared your stories and lives, your support and kindness along the way, is that while I have no intention of giving up fanfic writing (as there are just far too many stories still begging to be told), I must beg your patience as with real life and other projects and whatnot now on my plate, the next stories will take a little longer to complete. I am hoping they will prove to have been worth the wait.

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Have a question or want to leave a comment or concern and don’t have a wordpress account? Please feel free to email me at kadhmercer@gmail.com

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