Poems on Love, Loss and Leaving

 

In Dreams

 

I hold you in my heart 

and will be here when you wake 


So close your eyes and dream of summer days

the sweet pass of night

 

I’ll hold you tight until morning light

 

And when you wake

    we shall walk through flowered fields 

and rest beneath the stars 

 

If only in our dreams

 

*******

 

 

Apologies

 

there is no need for apologies

when no crime has been committed

 

tears are only tears

and sighs but sighs

 

long lonely nights are merely insomnia

 

your clothes in the closet

are still waiting 

like me 

to warmed by you

 

not angry

 

just expectant

 

and the dog 

he misses you

 

for I am too often away

and not so generous with tummy rubs

 

so do not waste your worry

or your heart

or words

on how best to say you’re sorry

 

rather

tender them

in telling us

when you’ll be returning home again

 

*******

 

In the End

 

Promises are broken

 

Forever has come and gone

 

There are no happy endings

 

People change —

and don’t

 

We grow older, 

but not wiser

 

Time slips away; 

We can’t go back

 

Some things are more beautiful broken than whole

 

There will be stillness

 

Dream die;

Prayers go unanswered

 

We cannot remember;

We cannot forget

 

There are no more tears;

We are defeated by our fears

 

Silence rings louder than screams

 

Today is our only tomorrow

 

Pain doesn’t make us stronger,

only harder

 

It will end.

 

*******

 

In Parenthesis

 

in parenthesis

lie two dates

separated by a dash –

 

a single line that

encompasses an entire life 

in its harsh brevity,

 

linking birth to death –

as if life was but a pause

between two states of being.

 

*******


 

I have contemplated death for hours,

for days —

weeks even,

when the darks moods come

as they always do.

 

Although the meditation 

is more about the act,

the ends,

the means

rather than the state of being.

 

Or more accurately a state of non-being.

 

I can plot and scheme

my exit so carefully

one might think it was a play.

 

But that which comes after?

 

Even I am not mad enough

to waste the hours and days

on that I cannot know until it comes.

 

*******

 

Before I Say Good-bye

 

There is so much I want to tell you – 

So much you should know.

 

Your life lies ahead of you,

Though the path isn’t always clear.

 

You will change and grow

Become –

 

Who and What and Why and How

No one can say.

 

But it will happen.

 

These days will be but memories;

I will be but memories.

 

Remember, but live on.

 

While your soul may be screaming;

Your lungs will keep breathing.

 

Your heart may be breaking;

But it will keep beating.

 

You may find no comfort in words,

However well-meant.

 

Tears may not wash the sadness away.

 

Yet, despite the darkness, 

The day will come.

 

Your heart will ache,

But the pain will fade.

 

Perhaps not soon, 

but someday.

 

Though I cannot always be with you,

Know I will be there.

 

In every moment,

Every breath.

 

In your laughter

And your tears.

 

In your hopes, 

And your fears.

 

In warmth of the sun,

And the rain that streams down your face.

 

*******

 

Let Me Go

 

Let me go

Don’t hold me here.

 

Let me fly and flee,

Coward that I am

Into the unending darkness.

 

Let me go

Without sorrow or tears.

 

Remember only the joy

Of all the passing years.

 

Let me go

Find my peace.

 

Whole again

Instead of in pieces.

 

Let me go

And keep me well

In your heart and memories.

 

Let me go

Though my heart longs not to leave,

I can no longer stay.

 

Forgive me please,

For all the things 

I did not say

Ever or enough

Throughout my days.

 

 

Know that I love you,

I always have.

 

Not even this will change that.

 

But my time is up, 

My days are gone.

 

My soul so longs for rest. 

 

So please I beg,

Let me go.

 

And know I won’t forget.

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